November: mastering the art of surrender
Surrender feels like losing control, but what if it’s actually freedom? This is the art of surrender: meeting anger, resistance, or the need to be right, and choosing to let go anyway. Through breathwork, bodywork, and hard-won wisdom, I’ve learned it’s not about giving up. It’s about trust. Here’s why we struggle and how to start.
Letting go sounds simple, doesn’t it? But, like many, I know it’s anything but easy. There are moments when I find myself holding onto times I feel others have treated me wrongfully – replaying conversations, feeling the weight of unresolved frustration. Over time, I’ve come to see that surrender isn’t about having it all figured out or letting go perfectly. It’s about gradually making space for these feelings. Acknowledging them as part of my experience and allowing them to unfold naturally, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Easier said than done
So, why does surrendering sometimes feel so d#mn difficult? Perhaps because it challenges our deep need for control, our fear of vulnerability from buried emotions, and the discomfort of breaking familiar patterns or facing the unknown. Surrender is about trust. Trusting the unknown, the process, and, most importantly, yourself. In my own experience, anger often feels like one of the most stubborn emotions to release. It’s an energy that holds tight, refusing to soften, and often leaves me feeling stuck.
When anger gets in the way
When I hold onto anger or the need to be right, I create resistance. Not just against others, but within myself. Surrender, I’ve found, is about releasing that resistance and stepping out of the struggle to prove or defend. It’s about softening into connection and recognising the whole picture: that every part of us – our frustrations, joys, even the parts we wish we could change – has its place. Instead of pushing these parts away, surrender asks us to make space for them, allowing them to simply be.
This reminds me of something Ram Dass shared in his audiobook, Becoming Nobody. He spoke about how anger often stems from a sense of righteousness – the belief that we are right and have been wronged. But holding onto righteousness creates separation, dividing us from others and from the peace we seek. He suggested that true freedom may lie in moving beyond right and wrong, in choosing to flow with things rather than standing in judgement.
In accepting your shadows, you embrace your wholeness.
– Osho –
Here are some ways to open the door to it:
Breathwork: your gateway to the art of surrender
Connected breathwork is a powerful practice of surrender. Flowing continuously, without pauses between the inhale and exhale, it mirrors the rhythm of life and invites us to release what we’ve been holding onto. It’s not about control, but about trusting the breath to carry away tension, emotions, and patterns that no longer serve us.
This practice helps soften the grip of control and invites us to step into flow. It’s a doorway to deeper connection, inner peace, and profound transformation.
The wisdom of touch
In bodywork, tension and emotions often surface from where they’ve been stored deep within. Touch creates a space for the body to release what it’s been holding – whether it’s physical tightness or the emotional weight of unresolved experiences. Surrender in bodywork isn’t instant; it’s a gradual process of softening, rebuilding trust, and allowing the body’s innate wisdom to guide the release.
Finding flow through movement
Movement lets us express what words cannot. Through unwinding, letting your body move freely without planned steps, you practise surrender by giving up control and following where your body leads. Put on music that resonates, and sway, stretch, or dance. As the tension melts away, movement becomes a way to reconnect with yourself.
Practising in small, everyday moments
Surrender can also be practised in subtle ways throughout the day – not through what we do, but in how we respond. It might mean pausing when things don’t go as planned and choosing not to resist. Or letting go of the need for all the answers and trusting that clarity will come in it’s own time. These simple acts of presence and acceptance create space for surrender to unfold naturally.
Take your time: letting go isn’t the goal
Sometimes, surrender isn’t possible, and that’s okay. Stuckness is part of the process, a way to recognise and accept resistance. Surrender isn’t the goal – it’s a practice. Even when you can’t let go all at once, the act of staying present with what is can help you release, bit by bit, in your own time.
Ready to explore the art of surrender? Schedule your session now. No perfection required.
Jessica Felsenthal
This post is also available in: Engels
