Navigating the messy rollercoaster called personal development

Have you ever poured your heart and soul into self-improvement, hoping a quick fix was around the corner? You’ve ticked off the boxes: self-help books, logged meditation sessions, and embraced healthy habits. Yet, that lingering feeling of “something missing” remains. You’re not alone. The journey can be frustratingly slow and unclear.

Despite what some may think, doing the work is not an immediate pathway to Love, light, and happiness. The real adventure lies deeper, past the carefully constructed facade we present to the world. Self-discovery is more like exploring a wild jungle than following a predetermined path. You must be brave, facing hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Confronting your Bullshit, uncomfortable truths, digging through unhealed wounds you’d rather avoid. It can be messy, lonely, unpredictable, and sometimes downright confusing. Progress may not always feel like progress.

Self-compassion is crucial

Instead of judging impatience, acknowledge emotions as part of the process. Growth often feels uncomfortable. Be kind to yourself!

Rebalancing

Truth is, I’ve been on this self-discovery journey for many years myself. Currently, I’m embarking on the second year of a 3-year training at the Rebalancing Centrum, further honing my skills as a bodyworker. A Rebalancer uses bodywork and various techniques, including self-inquiry, to guide clients toward physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, but above all, towards awareness.

Simultaneously, this specific year delves into intensifying my own personal development journey of self-acceptance. It’s about embracing every quirk and complexity that defines me – both the positive and the challenging aspects. Within this training, a key aspect lies in recognising the intricate interconnectedness of the body and mind. Touch and listening, executed with Presence, emerge as powerful tools to promote healing on many levels.

Instant satisfaction

Many of us fall into the trap of seeking instant gratification in self-discovery. We crave magic bullets and overnight transformations, hoping they’ll instantly turn us into happier, more fulfilled beings.

If this hits home, welcome to the club! In our fast-paced society that often celebrates instant gratification, I can’t help but remember my dad’s straightforward words, the slight shake of his head, and a hint of dismay: “You always want things to happen right away! You’re all about instant satisfaction.” His not-so-subtle reminders, in their own way, served as a gentle nudge towards embracing the process and the importance of patience. Turns out, my dad was onto something. His words still resonate with me today, even though I still struggle with impatience; it is a constant work in progress.

Anubuddha, my inspiring Arun Conscious Touch teacher, emphasises, “I can’t fix you, but I can help you see it.” Self-discovery isn’t about external fixes or shortcuts. It’s about cultivating inner awareness.

Your inner critic

On this journey, we often encounter a persistent voice in our heads, a voice so familiar we might forget it’s not our own: our most critical inner voice, constantly judging, criticizing, and keeping us stuck in negative patterns.

I recently came across the idea of giving your inner critic a name, as I saw an image online. Right now, I’m calling it “My nasty neighbor,” It helps me distance myself from its negativity and approach it with a sense of humour and curiosity instead of letting it control the narrative. I still have to think of a real name for her (it?) though.

What would you name your inner critic?
Go on, try it. It might change the game!